Blogs

Communicating well, like any other skill, is something that we can learn to do. And something that we can get better at with practice. I’ve often come across a misguided belief that we are either born good communicators or bad communicators. A belief that some people are ‘naturals’ and some are not. Some people just know what to say and how to say it so that people listen – and others don’t (...

Putting your Best Foot Forward! There is nothing like a good walk to help clear your mind, boost your energy, and get you thinking of new options. I was working on a project some time ago and feeling completely stuck, nothing was coming together, I was unable to make decisions or come up with anything creative. I turned to my usual solution in this situation. I took a short break and went...

As I opened a new bank account some time ago, the young woman serving me was efficient and professional and we proceeded through the process quickly. That was until she started to explain the fees that the bank was going to charge me for opening an account. Fees to open an account? Why, I asked, why do I need to pay to open an account? Inhuman Behaviour I can’t recall her exact answer, but it...

As an external coach and trainer, I’ve spent the past fifteen years or so supporting leaders to communicate more effectively. In doing this I’ve noticed common challenges that leaders face in consistently communicating well regardless of their industry, position, or the size of their teams. I recently added to my own observations by getting input from leaders in the HR field. I figured they would...

If you love business networking, you’re probably in the minority.  I haven’t got any official numbers on how many people love or hate this ‘thing’ we need to do in some form or the other to succeed in almost any level of business. But, I do know that many of the clients I’ve worked with over the years tell me they hate it.  Not only do they hate it, they feel guilty about hating it.   It’s ...

W.A.I.T… Why - Am - I - Talking? I love this acronym! It reminds me to consider what I’m saying and whether its the right thing to say in the moment. These are some of the questions that sit with this: Is what I’m about to say necessary for the situation? Is what I’m about to say kind? Is what I’m about to say helpful for the person I’m speaking to? Am I saying it in a way tha...

How often do you do these things while you’re ‘listening’ to someone else: You nod and smile and pretend to listen, but your mind is somewhere else You don’t give them your full attention (looking down at your phone or elsewhere) You listen for space to be able to speak yourself rather than truly listening to what the other person is saying You make a judgment of the speaker rather t...

When was the last time you experienced an awkward office interaction? Navigating the complex world of human interaction is something we do on a daily basis, yet can still get wrong after years of practice. Someone says the wrong thing, or says it in the wrong way, or to the wrong person, or doesn't say anything when they should have said something…..  there are countless things that make us ...

Organizations spend thousands of dollars on communication skills training yet so often nothing permanent changes. Sure, some useful techniques are learned and even used for a short time, but then the ingrained communications habits that led someone to training in the first place soon come back. What’s the problem here? In my view, the problem is that most communications skills training courses a...

When was the last time you stopped to think about your brain? If you’re like most people you go throughout the day using your brain (although there is always the argument that some people don’t) and yet likely never stop to think about what it takes for it to work well for you. Communicating well depends on having a brain that is working well. The brain is like any part of our body in that it ne...

Have you ever been forced to slow down? I spent some time this week reflecting on how an injury two years ago forced me to slow down and reflect on my own communication habits. I’m an avid hiker and spend most of my spare time hiking the hills of Hong Kong’s less known green areas. Its my way of unwinding and allows me to keep focused on my work. So in the spring of 2013 when my regular wee...

Paul considers himself a reasonably good communicator. He leads a team of eight, reports directly to the CFO and deals with a handful of established clients. Generally things go well. However, there are those times when it feels like there are gaps. Someone doesn't understand, someone is not motivated or someone doesn't respond as expected. Many of us are reasonably good communicators and get t...

Tell them what you are going to tell them Then tell them Tell them what you told them Have you ever been given this advice about speaking? I began my training and public speaking career over 20 years ago and as a novice speaker I was often given the above advice. It's a simple technique and there’s a good chance that if you deliver talks, to any size group, you’ve come across this in...

Bill knows that communication skills are not his strength. He also knows he wasn’t promoted to Vice President because of his communication skills. He’s worked in finance for years, knows what’s happening, and knows how to make the company money. That’s why he got promoted. However, he’s also beginning to realize that his new role of managing a team of junior analysts is not only about his e...

Sorry I got our meeting time wrong, I’d read your message on my i-phone Could you please resend the document – I deleted it from my phone Sorry I responded in that tone, I read your message on my phone and responded immediately Do any of these comments sound familiar to you? We live in a world of instant communication and our expectations for sending and receiving emails/texts or other...

Imagine these scenarios: You are presenting a plan for a new project at a board meeting, 10 senior board members are watching you. You stand up, deliver your presentation with ease and confidence, answer their probing questions smoothly and win approval for your project. You are attending a networking event. You walk into the room feeling confident and at ease, you start up conversations w...